“Getting Married” is just a step into a long journey named “Marriage”. Just as any journey else, marriage is very difficult, challenging and there is also failure as well as success.
When you decide to marry someone, it’s a very important mark in your life because it’s time you and another stranger start a whole new life living together and accepting all differences between both of you.
No matter how peaceful and romantic of your love when you two are still the lover of each other, becoming spouses, it’s a different story. That’s why I advise you to equip yourself some basic and must-have knowledge before getting started this long journey. Because I guess that neither of you want to end it up once you love each other with all your heart, right?
Here are my favorite books about marriage to hope you will really understand about it and know how to keep fire for your happiness, as well as overcome the difficulties and challenges encountered together.
01. Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps: How We’re Different and What to Do About It
Guys, have you ever wondered why women’s thoughts always be more complicated than us? Or how they search for a man to establish long-term relationships?
I bet that once you are into a girl and set a serious relationship with her, there are obviously some difference not only in the way of thinking about the same problems, but in all aspects of life, which surely you thirst for a good source of advice to give you the right direction – what to do next?
My buddy, there’re things that sometimes we don’t need to try to understand but just accept it. And once learn about the acceptance of each other’s difference, I’m sure that your life will be different (in positive way!).
Read this book, (I highly recommend it for those who are stuck in your relationship) and you will regret for not reading it sooner.
Other than two major questions above, this book also address some more other sexual issues like what determines the degree of masculinity or femininity of each person, or, whether homosexuality is a choice or genetic predisposition.
It gives you the best answers based on both physical and biological researchers as well as through a series of experiments and investigations conducted in many countries.
Understanding this gender difference is not a mere evaluation of the type of relationship. It is an understanding of the origin of differences, accepting that existing differences and learning how to deal with differences in a logical way.
Read and think about those specific tips outlined in the book, you will probably be happier, healthier and more harmonious, reaching what you want. Make this book a part of your life, guys!
02. What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
You have met your true love (Congratulation!), marry her (Congratulation, again!) and now, it’s time to build that relationship up.
It’s truth that once you love somebody to the bottom of your heart, the scared of losing her is very clear because of her importance to your life. And surely, you also want to establish a long-term relationship to her, might be even till the end of your life.
However, if you have heard about the cases that arguments or fighting have led to many marriage brokers, then yeah, it does exist!
The key here is the way that both of you guys deal with it. And I think you should equip yourself some useful advice that’s proven on the science to get the best out of your relationship.
“What Makes Love Last?” is also the culmination of researching in John Gottman’s life. It lists out 7 Secrets of Sustainable Love alongside with practical exercises and questionnaires made from scientific methods to observe small details of the habits of many couples over the years.
Read it and apply these seven tips to lead yours to a happy and lasting relationship.
03. Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
This book addresses the relationship in both the mysterious and the scientific aspects. Those who are just believe in the direction of mystery or just science often end up with dissatisfaction.
It’s not a nonsense thing because in fact, there are a lot of people who only trust in either mystery or science. You should know that, without mystery, science becomes cold and insensitive, and mystery without science becomes vague and misleading
That’s why you should address both of these aspects to build the best relationship.
“Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families” has captured the magic of marriage through every day experiences. Built on the basis of mutual sharing and respect, the book draws a vivid picture of a true married couple. This is a necessary and practical reference for couples!
This book also received good feedback from Dr. Lawrence Weiss – University of Nevada. He gave a lot of compliments on it but in generally, he told that the book went straight to the core of the relationship with interesting and impressive way of describing, which makes him appreciate it a lot.
Through this precious book, you will learn seven best things that true couples have done: mature enough to date, erotic, willing to accept divorce, know the reasons to live with the other, always renewed, managed fear, pain, shame and loneliness as well as master their own life.
04. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
Despite the fact that the divorce rate is increasing and there is no sign of stopping or decreasing, boys and girls, men and women still date love each other and get married.
It seems like when you love each other sincerely, everyone all believes that they are going to overcome any struggles coming to their marriage and forever stay together, no matter how many times witnessing the other couples break up. I’m glad for your strong spirit!
In other words, that is a good thing. HOWEVER, to maintain the fire of marriage happiness always in red, love is not enough.
In fact, the probability of the first marriage ending in divorce over a 40-year period is 67%. In half of the cases, divorce occurs within the first seven years of the marriage.
Some studies show that the rate of divorce in the second marriage is still 10% higher than the first. The high rate of divorce that sets the alarm for all couples – including happy couples – that they need to do more to hold their marriage.
After many years of research on hundreds of couples, the author of this book has found the solution for that alarming issue:
Why is it so difficult at marriage?
Why do some people enjoy a durable and harmonious relationship while many couples are just like the slow bomb?
And how to keep your relationship from worsening – or saving a marriage that’s falling off the brink?
Success in any aspect of life, including marriage, also has its own secret. Whether you are in any stage of marriage or about to step through the threshold of marriage, you will also find “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” truly practical, easy to understand, easy to apply and extremely useful.
One of the saddest reasons for the breakup of marriage is that none of the couple recognized the true value of marriage until it was too late. Only when the procedure is completed and the property is divided, the old spouses realize what they have lost when they live without each other.
Often, people in the relationship think about their happiness is something obviously. I mean it has to be rather than it deserves to be. So, chances are that their relationship often lacks of nurturing and treating properly.
Worse, some people think that divorce or forget about an unhappy marriage is not difficult – they even think that it is trendy. But now, there are a lot of documents prove that a divorce is serious impact on all related parties.
So, start doing something for your marriage, to never have to regret it!
05. Bradshaw on: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
This book is for those who want to go deeper into this issue – Self-Esteem.
It is also for anyone in a family who is experiencing functional impairment. It is also for those who do not realize the possibility of paralyzing emotions, self-denial, especially those who are addicted to paternalistic parenting laws in our society.
In this series, the author explains the emotional illness and emotional health, as well as the importance of how they are transmitted through life.
This book provides you with ways to restore the lost nature of childhood, as well as a new way to enrich your self-esteem.
06. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” gives you valuable lessons to build and maintain a solid family culture in today’s turbulent society.
With the same insight, simplicity and rich practical experience – also be interested by more than 10 million readers – Stephen R. Covey continues to analyze the principles that were introduced in the book ” The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” to build a family that is filled with love and sustainability through generations.
This book will help you find out the best answers to those common questions in the family, such as:
- How do we make meaningful time in the family, when both parents (or one of them) have to work hard to earn a living for the family?
- How do we create harmony in the family?
- How do children self-consciously do housework and school work, without prompting or pleading?
- How to convince family members when they never listen to you?
- How to strengthen your family against negative social influences?
- What do you do when you feel you do not understand your children?
- How to create discipline without punishment?
- How to heal broken relationships and recreate cold feelings?
The book is a must for modern families in this more and more complicated society. And I think you should, too!
07. The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People
This book consists of many simple, honest and intimate stories in every single person’s life, but they are not the answer to the specific problems you are experiencing. Read, think and find for yourself the most practical solution to build and maintain a happy emotional life. That’s also what I highly appreciate about it!
Love is the most special and the miracle thing in human’s life, it is hard to love – it is harder to keep love alive! Love is a great feeling, it brightens the chaos, regains lost souls and creates the greatest values of human beings.
Everyone can understand the reason, everyone can draw a little bit of experience for themselves, and everyone can see the mistakes in the marriage relationship of other families, but to timely overcoming such these mistakes, it requires sympathy, understanding, respect and mutual consent of the couple.
Keep in mind that behind every great man, there is a great woman. Love, nurture and nourish the happiness of your life to together overcome the struggles, bring the marriage-ship to the shore of happiness in peace, together to live up to long time and happy life.
The book is the result of a whole decade of research by a team of psychophysiologists. They spent most of their time interviewing, posting multiple choice questions, observing relationships, dates and marriage life with dedication, including their actual experience.
All of the findings have been summarized and presented in stories by Dr. David Niven – a psychologist, a sociologist and a professor of many universities throughout the United States.
Analyzing and exhorting, it helps us to draw useful marriage lessons for ourselves. Each story is a typical marriage situation in life, both negative and positive, very practical and simple, but in the end, it is all about a philosophy that is very worthwhile for us: “Happy marriage is a relationship of two sides and to sacrifice for each other.”
Summing up from the reality of the marriage, the author draws on some common characteristics of a particular relationship:
- Happy marriage contains both private space and the general world of both.
- Be patient and share your feelings as well as forgive each other
- Together build a family, towards the goodness and happiness.
- Trust and respect as well as understand each other’s differences.
Happiness in a marriage is like a drop of water in the palm of your hand. If you hold your hand, the water will slowly warm up, but if left alone, it will flow down and disappear. This means that you have to know your relationship with a positive attitude.
The connection between two strangers is not simple. During the process of living together, they both face and deal with many struggles, contradictions and challenges occurred daily. If one of you is not clever and do not really understand the relationship of marriage, happiness will slip out of your hand.
08. Marriage Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
This book brings many lovely and delicate messages about two real people have married in reality. The whole story here is real and happens to their life.
While reading, you will notice that some of the common differences between men and women, sexual acts and other topics tend to make people swagger or to start talking a lot about. But calm down, it’s just a self-story telling. Enjoy it!
09. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life (Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series)
This book offers solutions to the most common causes of breakage and bring joy in the home. The joys are often lost because of the small frustrations and the hecticness of everyday life. These solutions also aim to further enhance your awareness, patience and wisdom. It gives you a more loving attitude in the family, gratitude for the other member, and feel peace of mind.
10. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
I’m sorry to end this collection with a little bit sad book – it talks about how to deal with break-up in love or marriage. I myself also think a lot about adding it to this list, but this is a real issue of a relationship, which though it’s hurt, you need to face with.
The book is about family happiness, which will point to the causes of conflict in marriage, while also giving you new skills in preserving and cultivating your family’s happiness.
A long-lasting love is the one that we all aspire to. But if for some reasons, the emotional relationship can’t continue, then you will face a new era with a lot of physiological disturbance.
The healing period after the loss can be very difficult, but you will overcome the feeling of regret, anger and suffering easier when learning the experience gained from the real life in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus written by the psychology doctor – John Gray.
This book will give you practical tips, while you are very empty and embarrassing not know what to do. No matter the loss of love is due to the death of separation or the breakup in love and marriage, you will also know how to heal the pain and find a happy life through this useful advice.
These 10 books, they are all good buddies of mine in giving me a lot of useful advice, guidance and direction to achieve or solve problems during my marriage.
I also want to make clear that they are just for reference. Don’t try to apply them too strictly because your own marriage isn’t the same as the ones in these books. It’s essential to read, think and learn from them. But it’s also vital to wisely apply them to your life.
Hopefully, they are a great inspiration for your long-lasting love and marriage!
